Love Potion
by The Rica
Summary: Rated R for uncommon pairings and for using Unforgivable Curses...This takes place near the end of Hermione's 6th year and is told from her point of view. These are all her thoughts as told to the reader.


***Disclaimer*** Harry Potter characters/stories are strictly J.K. Rowling's. I take no credit for creation, nor do I accept credit. They are just being borrowed for a little while. I gave them back. Promise.  
  
This is Hermione's point of view. Yes, it's a love story...but sometimes, love doesn't work out the way everyone thinks...it didn't in this case...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I couldn't help what I was doing. Some would call it lust, others would call it infatuation. But I know the *real* word: love. Love is what kept me disappearing from Ron and Harry all the time. Love is what made me get ingredients from Snape for a potion and use it on another wizard. Love is what kept me alive. But alas, love is what killed him.  
  
I can't say I'm happy about what I did. I can't even say that I don't regret it. But if I had one more chance, I'd do it again, all the same. The only change would be I would have put myself before the Dark Lord and kept my love alive. But I can't change that. Because He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named killed him. The Dark Lord killed the love of my life just as he had killed Harry's parents all those years ago. I had to take revenge against him.  
  
What exactly did I do that killed the love of my life? I made him fall in love with me. The day I did it was the day I found myself. But here's the real story.  
  
It was a day like any other. Ron, Harry and I had gone to breakfast, expecting the most wonderful meal when there was a clipping in the Daily Prophet about a wizard who had used a Love Potion to make a Muggle fall in love with them. It was rubbish, really. No one of the sort could make a potion that could make a Muggle fall in love. But it was true. We talked to Professor Snape about it later that day in Potions. He sneered when I shot my hand up into the air and said, "Professor, did you read the Daily Prophet this morning?"  
  
"Yes, Miss Granger, I did. What of it?" he asked in his cold voice.  
  
"Well, something caught my attention. A wizard concocted a love potion and made a Muggle fall in love with him. Could this truly happen? Or is Rita Skeeter up to no good, once again?" I asked, with much curiousity.  
  
"Miss Granger, love potions are highly easy to make, but they are difficult to give. If one has the right ingredients, one could produce the strongest love potion known to man. I, of course, have these ingredients, but they are not available for sale or use, because love potions are banned from Hogwarts. Now, if you'll kindly get back to your essay on Manga Roots, so I can get back to grading your essays from last week. No more questions."  
  
I left Potions that day with a sense of satisfaction. There was one person in particular that I had a crush on ever since he started teaching at Hogwarts. That person was Professor Remus J. Lupin.  
  
A few days later, I found myself in the Restricted section of the Library, once again, getting the book entitled Moste Potente Potions. And once again, I had received permission to be in here. This time, it was Professor Flitwick. I looked up the most difficult love potion I could find. And there it was in gold ink: Poción del amor. Underneath, in smaller writing, it said "The most difficult love potion known, the smallest drop would make your loved one love you back for good." And underneath that: "Warning: Use with EXTREME CAUTION"  
  
I knew exactly what I was getting myself into. I had to beg Snape for the ingredients, and when he asked why, I told him it was an extra credit project for his class and I was doing an experiment on animals. He sneered at this, but to much luck, he gave in and I left his office a short while later.  
  
I headed to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, knowing if anyone was going to bother me, it would be Harry or Ron. The three of us were the only ones to ever come in this bathroom because Myrtle is too irritating for anyone to handle.  
  
I went into one of the stalls with my Cauldron, Moste Potente Potions, and the ingredients Snape gave me. I heard a door open and when I looked out, Myrtle was standing outside the cubicle.  
  
"Hello, Hermione," she said sweetly. "What are you doing back here?" she asked.  
  
"Well, Myrtle, I just needed some privacy for this extra credit potion I'm making for Professor Snape's class. I knew nobody would bother me in here."  
  
"What are you implying?! Nobody would bother you in here because I'M here?!" Myrtle screamed at me.  
  
I felt awful for saying it, but I wanted to get to work, so I said the rudest thing that would shut her up for the next few days, at least. Which is what I needed.  
  
"Yes Myrtle. We don't like you bothering us all the time. So please go...fly into a toilet."  
  
"For your information, I'll do just that!" Myrtle wailed and made a huge splash in one of the other cubicles, and the water spilled its way onto the floor around me. For the next hour or so, I was at work getting my Love potion ready for Professor Lupin. I knew the hardest thing to do would be to give it to him, but that would come at a later time. I only had one thing to worry about: Malfoy. He would be the one to ruin everything.  
  
In about two month's time, my potion was ready. I realized that the best day to give it to him would be when Snape gave him his monthly potion to keep him from transfiguring into his werewolf self. The only way to do it would be to get to Snape before he got to Lupin, offer to get the potion to Lupin, and add a couple drops of the love potion into the one that Snape gives him, and administer it to Lupin. It was the perfect plan.  
  
I walked through the Corridors in search for Snape, and finally, I found him. He was right on schedule, about to deliver the potion to Lupin on his way to dinner. He was running late, because a fight between Harry, Draco, Crabbe, Goyle and Ron broke out. Needless to say Gryffindor lost 25 points and Slytherin lost 15. It's about time Snape took some points from Slytherin. I caught up with him and thus, my plan went into action.  
  
"Hello, Professor. Where are you off to in a hurry?" I wasn't even nervous as I spoke those words.  
  
"Miss Granger. Yes, well, I'm about to deliver Remus his Anti-werewolf potion. It's "that time of the month", so to speak. What can I do for you?" he sneered.  
  
"Well, if you'd like to catch up to the other professors, I can give the potion to Professor Lupin. I was just going to ask him something about our Dark Arts homework we had assigned yesterday morning. I was on my way there, right now." Snape looked down at my parcel. I had thought he would do this, so I opened it up and showed him my Dark Arts books and supplies and he looked back to me.  
  
"Very well," he said, and handed me the potion.  
  
I couldn't believe it. It had worked! I turned the corner to the next corridor and ran to Lupin's office. I knocked on the door and heard a muttered "Come in." I opened the door and inside stood Lupin, looked dreadful. I felt so bad at first for what I was about to do, but didn't think twice.  
  
"How can I help you, Hermione?" he asked, tenderly. I remember the softness in which he spoke. It was soft, yet, it had that touch of strength that would make any girl's heart melt. I knew I had to do this.  
  
"I'm here to give you the potion Snape makes for you every month. He was in a hurry and I ran into him, and I offered to give it to you for him." I looked at him and smiled, and he smiled back, showing his perfect teeth. I loved that smile. Everything about that smile was beautiful. It made my stomach flutter at the sight of it. Of course, I smiled back at him.  
  
"That was very kind of you," he said.  
  
He turned around, and as he did so, I put a couple drops of my potion into the one Snape made. For a moment, it had turned a deep scarlet, and then went back to it's original violet color. I hoped so badly that it would work. I handed the potion to him, and he happily took it into his strong hands. He drank the potion in just a few gulps.  
  
The goblet slipped out of his hand, and for a moment, he looked dumbfounded. He then looked at me and said, "Everytime." My heart sank. It didn't work. I had worked hard for two months and my potion was useless.  
  
But then, the most astounding thing happened. He bent down to pick up the goblet, and for a moment, stayed still. He then got up, set the goblet on his desk and looked at me. There was something different about the way he looked at me. There was a sparkle in his eye. Then he shook his head.  
  
"Something wrong, Professor?" I asked.  
  
"No, no. Nothing at all. Is that it, Miss Granger?" he asked.  
  
Again, my heart sank. I nodded and turned around to walk out.  
  
"By the way, Miss Granger, you look adorable today."  
  
I turned around at these words.  
  
"Excuse me, Professor?" I asked. My stomach started to flutter again and happiness started to overwhelm me.  
  
"You heard me, Hermione." He blinked a few times and then stared at me. I couldn't help but smile.  
  
"Is everything okay, Hermione? You seem a bit, distracted, I must say."  
  
Oh no. I thought maybe I should've put more. But then I thought maybe it just needed a little time to kick in.  
  
"Yes, Professor. Everything is all right. See you at dinner."  
  
During dinner that night, I caught Lupin's eye everytime I looked at him. I even caught him staring at me from the corner of his eye.  
  
"Hermione, are you going to finish your chicken?" Ron asked me. I laughed. He was always hungry. That boy just never stopped eating. Or stopped thinking about eating. I let him eat the rest of my chicken. I was too busy thinking and wondering if my potion had really worked.  
  
"Hermione. Earth to Hermione!" Harry said, while he waved his hand in front of my face.  
  
I looked at him and smiled.  
  
"Sorry. I was just distracted. Thinking about...an Arithmancy exam I have tomorrow."  
  
I lied.  
  
"But Hermione, you don't even have Arithmancy tomorrow," Harry said. "What's going on?"  
  
"I can't tell you now, but meet me in Myrtle's bathroom after dinner." I grabbed my things and left the Great Hall. I turned around to look at the Staff table, and I saw Lupin getting up to leave. Could it be true? Could the potion have really worked?  
  
It seemed like forever to get up to Gryffindor Tower. But when I did, I said the password, which, at the time, was Treacle Tart. The portrait of the Fat Lady swung open. I was about to walk in when I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around and saw Lupin.  
  
"Hermione, I have to talk to you. Can I come in?" he asked, with such a tone of tenderness, that I almost melted right on the spot.  
  
"Sure, Professor. What is it?"  
  
We walked into the Gryffindor common room and I took a seat in the chair next to the fireplace. He sat down across from me. There, he declared his love for me. I didn't know what to do. I felt guilty for betraying this man, who had done so much for the students of Hogwarts. I had to tell thim the truth.  
  
"Professor, I have to confess something. You only think you're in love with me. Well-I-I. Well, it's like this: when I gave you the potion that Snape made for you, I put in a couple drops of a Love potion I spent the last two months making. I'm truly, very sorry that I did this to you, but, I had to. I've had a crush on you since you started working here, and I'm so sorry that I did this. If you completely detest me, I understand."  
  
I dropped my head and looked at the floor. The only noises made were the crackling of the fire in the fireplace, our breathing, and at last, he sighed. Then he spoke.  
  
"Hermione, I know all about that potion you were making."  
  
"You do?" I couldn't believe it. Why hadn't he said something? Why hadn't he done something, like tell me. Or better yet, why didn't he tell Professor McGonagall or even Dumbledore? I was surely to be expelled, since Love Potions were banned from Hogwarts.  
  
"Yes, I do. Severus came to me two months ago to give me my medicinal potion and he said something about you needing ingredients for some extra credit potion that you never turned in. He told me what the ingredients were, and him being a potions master, knew it was some sort of Love potion. He wasn't sure which, but he was sure it was one. I didn't know who it was for, and I'm actually quite flattered it was for me. But Hermione, dear, you must know it didn't work. This isn't the potion talking. You need to administer more than two drops to another vile, be it potion or not, in order for it to work."  
  
"So, does this mean you forgive me?" I asked him. I was trembling. I couldn't believe it. The potion never worked and he knew about it all along. I felt so ashamed. But what he said next amazed me to no end.  
  
"Of course I forgive you. Loving someone means forgiving them no matter what. And I love you, Hermione Granger. When you sent that letter by owl to me after Dumbledore requested I come back, I was shocked. All those nice things you said about me, telling me everyone wanted me here and it's where I belonged. I felt truly happy. I knew I had to come back. And this may be extremely wrong, but I fell for you that day."  
  
He smiled a smile that made my heart jump into my throat. I was utterly speechless. I could only look at him and smile back. I didn't know what to say. But I didnt have to say anything, because, at that moment, he got out of his chair, bent down in front of me and kissed my forehead. His lips felt soft and warm against my skin. I closed my eyes to take it in entirely. He kissed the side of my head, then my cheek, my chin, and finally my lips. I took in the fullness of that kiss. I never wanted it to end. But I knew it had to. This was wrong. A student and a teacher could not possibly have a love relationship while either one of them were there.  
  
Our lips parted and for a moment, neither one of us spoke. Then he took his hand and caressed my face. His touch was tender and loving. I fell deeply in love instantly. I knew there was no turning back this time. We were in it for good.  
  
The next few months were the best I'd ever had. I had told Ron and Harry about everything, and although they were upset that I didn't tell them before (they thought they could have helped me), they got over it. They also told me it was wrong to have made the potion and I also admitted to that point. Then they congratulated me on my newfound relationship. Harry and Ron then confessed they were also involved with others.  
  
"Who?" I demanded. I was a bit insulted when neither one of them shared their information, but then I figured we were even.  
  
Harry was the first one to announce his girlfriend.  
  
"Katie Bell." I had always known there was something more between the two other than Quidditch. But this even shocked me.  
  
"Oh, Harry. I'm so happy for you. Ron?" I raised an eyebrow to him.  
  
"Alicia Spinnet," Ron muttered.  
  
I smiled at Ron and he smiled back. For the longest time, I thought he had a crush on me, as I have on him for a short while, but obviously for the both of us, that passed long ago.  
  
Remus and I had to sneak around a lot of the time, mainly because we knew he'd be fired and I'd probably be expelled. One night in particular, I remember him coming into our sleeping quarters around 2 o'clock in the morning. He had a nightmare that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had risen back to power and murdered me. He told me that in the dream, he had tried to save me, but the Dark Lord had transfigured him into a mouse before he had a chance. I was afraid one of the other Gryffindor girls would wake up to the sound of him entering the room, as I had. I was scared at first, but when he whispered, "Hermione, are you awake?", I calmed down.  
  
I opened the curtains of my four-post bed and looked at him right in the eyes. "Remus, you can't be in here for two reasons: One, this is a girls' dormitory. Two, it's late. Is everything okay?" I asked.  
  
"No, Hermione. I had a nightmare that Voldemort rose to power and came to Hogwarts. He killed you and I was unable to save you."  
  
I felt sympathetic, so I let him sleep in my bed with me. I pulled the curtains shut and we slept well for the rest of the night, his arms wrapped tightly around me.  
  
I don't remember much about what happened over the next few months, but one day while sitting in Defense Against Dark Arts, we heard Dumbledore come onto the loudspeaker.  
  
"All students will return to their dormitories immediately. Teachers will all meet in my office to discuss recent events. Everyone is to remain calm. No one is to leave their dormitories unless otherwise notified. That is all."  
  
I looked at Remus and he looked worried. I longed to be at his side to comfort him, for I'd never seen him so worried since I'd known him. Just as I got up to walk over to him, everyone moved to the exit. I knew I had to go too. I took another look at him. When no one was looking, he mouthed "Be careful". I smiled. I mouthed the words "You too." I still longed to be next to him, but I knew I had to leave with the other students.  
  
Back in the common room, we awaited some sort of message from Dumbledore or McGonagall. Or any other Professor for that matter. It was McGonagall who burst through the door to the common room an hour after we reached it.  
  
"Our worst fears have come true. Voldemort has risen back to power. He's here, at Hogwarts. Although he doesn't know the passwords to the dormitories, that doesn't mean we're any safer. The paths to the dormitories are hard to follow, even for him, but everyone is to remain in here and no one is to leave." She walked over to Ron, Harry and me. "I don't want you three to seperate, period. You three are to stick together, no matter what happens."  
  
McGonagall left the room and the door shut behind her. For what seemed like hours, nobody spoke. Nobody even moved. Then, Angelina Johnson, who was Head Girl this year, began to speak.  
  
"I know the Dark Times have arrived once again, but we won't give up without a fight. This is exactly what the Dark Lord would've wanted: for everyone to be frightened, unable to speak. Lighten up and try to remain calm. Do some homework, play Wizard's Chess. Do something." Angelina looked at everyone, and after she spoke, we all started talking to one another.  
  
Ron and Harry looked at me and immediately knew something was wrong.  
  
"Hermione, are you okay?" Harry asked.  
  
I looked at him with tears in my eyes.  
  
"I'm worried about Moony," I said, knowing others who overheard wouldn't know who I was talking about if I called him that. A single tear streamed down my face and Harry came over to me and hugged me.  
  
"Everything will be okay, I promise," Harry said. Although he meant well, I wasn't so sure about that at all.  
  
The door swung open again and everyone became silent. We all stared at the entrance-way. The person who walked in was the one that made my fears cease- --it was Remus.  
  
Everything he said is still a blur, but he told us to go to our sleeping quarters, and we'd be safer there. We remember McGonagall's advice not to split up, so I went with Ron and Harry into their room. Lupin followed us. He tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around. Harry and Ron stopped and did the same.  
  
"Dumbledore sent me to come get the three of you. He wants you in his office. He thinks Voldemort is after Harry. You will be safest in his office. Harry, Sirius has been sent for, and the Ministry of Magic is on their way. Harry, bring your father's old cloak, just to be safe. Voldemort sn't strong enough to see through them, so you'll be safe."  
  
Harry went into his room and emerged a few moments later with his father's Invisibility Cloak. The three of us hid underneath it and followed Remus to Dumbledore's office.  
  
We arrived safely, with no sight of the Dark Lord. We took off the Invisibility Cloak, and Harry bundled it up and put it underneath his robes. Remus gave the password, and the Gargoyle sprange to life. We went up the spiral staircase, Ron and Harry in the front, Remus and I behind. I was in front of Remus, as he thought it would be best to stay behind us, and he grabbed my hand from behind me and held onto it. Warmth surged through my body, and I felt safer knowing my Remus would here to protect us.  
  
We emerged in Dumbledore's office, where the first sight that greeted us was Fawkes sitting on his perch. He schreeched softly, welcoming us to the room. The four of us took seats in the room and Remus stayed with us and kept us company.  
  
Quicker than any of us could realize what had happened, someone blasted the door and burst into the room. He was wearing a long, black, velvet cloak. We all knew who it was at once: Lord Voldemort. Ron sat frozen with fear. Harry stared at him, speechless. As for Remus and me, he got in front of me as a sort of protector.  
  
Voldemort looked at Harry.  
  
"Harry Potter. We meet again. This time, I will destroy you." He raised his wand and pointed it at Harry. None of us could move.  
  
Fawkes flew into his face and distracted him. We took that opportunity to run out of Dumbeldore's office. We ran through many different corridors of the castle, until we couldn't run anymore.  
  
We thought we lost him, so it was decided that we would split up and search for Dumbledore and McGonagall. We knew that wasn't the best decision, but since there was four of us, we had hoped it would be okay. In the end, it was decided that Harry and Ron would go together and take the Invisibility Cloak, and I would go with Remus.  
  
Harry and Ron put on the Invisibility Cloak and they disappeared. Remus and I turned the corner and headed straight back to Gryffindor Tower. We thought maybe they'd be there.  
  
When we got there, it was completely deserted. We looked in each of the sleeping quarters and nobody was there. We thought that maybe McGonagall had come in and taken them all out while we were in Dumbledore's office.  
  
We turned and ran down corridors and made it to the Great Hall. Nobody was there either. We didn't know where to look. There was no one to be found anywhere. Finally, we ran to the Library, thinking that would the last place Voldemort would check. Nobody was there. Or so we thought. As we turned around to leave, Harry and Ron appeared from under the cloak and scared Remus and I out of our wits.  
  
Together once again, the four of us set off once again in hopes of finding someone who could help us. We ran out onto Hogwarts grounds, and still, no one was found. We wondered where everyone was. We looked across the way and saw Hagrid's hut, lit up like a lighthouse and smoke was coming out of the chimney.  
  
"Of course!" Harry said. "Hagrid will know where everyone went!"  
  
Out of breath and extremely tired, the four of us ran to Hagrid's hut and knocked on the door. There was no answer.  
  
We heard shouting back at the castle. We turned around and saw a dark shadow running across the grounds toward us. We thought the worst until it turned out to be Sirius Black, Harry's godfather.  
  
"Remus, is everything all right? What happened?" Sirius asked, eyeing the four of us. "Where is everyone?"  
  
Lupin explained what was going on and Sirius seemed devastated. He joined us in the search for Dumbledore. We finally found him lying at the entrance of Hogwarts. What we saw was beyond our worst nightmares: Voldemort had used the Cruciatus Curse to within an inch of his life. He was barely alive. Harry and Ron couldn't speak. I remember I cried for him because he was such an amazing person. Sirius spoke.  
  
"We have to leave. Now."  
  
We brought Dumbledore with us as we set off in search for the carriages to take us away from Hogwarts. We found nothing. All of the carriages were taken. We assumed they had taken all of the students back to the train station to send everyone home. We were the only ones left. We turned back and saw Professor Snape.  
  
"What are you still doing here? Everyone has gone!" he said in a whispered shout.  
  
He ran over to us and then we heard it. Voldemort was cackling. We all turned around and there he stood, in all his wretched glory. His wand pointed at us all, he stood there and laughed. When he finally stopped laughing, he just stared at Harry.  
  
"You'll meet your parents soon enough. After I kill your friends," his shrill voice said, as though he was proud of what he was doing.  
  
He raised his wand, but Sirius was quicker.  
  
"Imperio!" Voldemort was bouncing up and down until he got control of himself.  
  
Voldemort took his wand and pointed it at Sirius. Remus, in desperation to save his brother-like friend, grabbed Sirius just as Voldemort was about to use the Cruciatus Curse against Sirius.  
  
The two fell to the ground with a loud thud. Voldemort laughed and pointed his wand at me. A look of horror fell upon Remus' face.  
  
"Let's see if you can save this one," Voldemort said. "Crucio!"  
  
Remus got to his feet and leapt in front of me just before a light from Voldemort's wand shot out. It hit Remus with such a great force that knocked me off of my feet.  
  
Remus writhed in pain as Voldemort laughed. He kept the curse on Remus until he was at his last breath. Without thinking, I grabbed my wand, pointed it at Voldemort and cried out, "Avada Kedavra!"  
  
A flash of green light exploded from my wand and hit Voldemort with a force that could kill a few men with one hit. As soon as the curse hit him, he was dead. He fell to the ground, completely lifeless, and I dropped my wand.  
  
I ran over to Remus who was barely breathing. Harry, Ron, Sirius, and Snape all gathered around the two of us. I knelt down by Remus' side and put his head in my lap. There was nothing I could do. No spell I knew of would take the pain away. I knew at once that he was going to die.  
  
I started to cry. And I couldn't stop. It took all Remus had to raise his arm and brush loose hair out of my face.  
  
"Don't cry, my love. Everything--" he gasped for air. "Everything...will be...okay." He smiled. I couldn't help but smile back. I loved it when he smiled at me. He made me feel alive.  
  
I leaned over him and kissed his forehead as he did once to me. He grabbed my hand with his and held on with the strength he had left. I leaned down and kissed him.  
  
When we parted, he whispered, "I love you, Hermione. I always have and I always will."  
  
"I love you too." I couldn't stop crying. The love of my life was dying and there was nothing I could do. I felt like my life was over. I would've given anything to have switched places with him at that point.  
  
As soon as I told him I loved him, he was gone. I leaned over and kissed him once more. I held his hand and cried. I didn't stop crying, even when the Ministry of Magic finally arrived.  
  
I still dream about him. About our life and about how things could've been. I'm nearing the end of my Seventh year at Hogwarts. This happened last year. As for Harry, Ron, and me; we never spoke of that night.  
  
The story Snape told Dumbledore, who, in turn told the school, was that Remus had tried to save Sirius by killing Voldemort at the same time Voldemort tried to kill him. Each had succeeded, and each had failed.  
  
Ever since his death, classes seem empty. There's something missing, and it's not just Professor Lupin. It's an attitude that has filled the air. Nothing will be the same without him. Both Harry and Sirius are forever grateful that he saved Sirius' life. And mine. I wonder what people would think if they knew the truth: he didn't die saving Sirius. He truly died saving me, because he loved me. And I loved him. At least we got to experience true love with each other. And I'm forever grateful for that. 


End file.
